Birthday Booze

In earlier, younger years, material birthday gifts are greatly anticipated and desired. Yet when 30 approaches, one usually has more than enough "stuff" to fill their lives,  and if a baby shower or wedding is on the horizon then more objects may soon be on their way.  

This appears to be the reason why alcohol becomes the gift du jour for the Triple Decker.  Starting with age 21, "buying you a drink" becomes a birthday custom, but by age 30, the gifts of alcohol become even more specialized.  Unique wines, select bottles of top shelf alcohol, even illegal foreign liqours may be bestowed upon one at their 30th birthday and beyond.  Those who survive their 30s can look forward to even more exotic alcoholic gifts at their 40th and 50th birthday.

This phenomenon may also help explain why Triple Deckers show a heightened interest in fully stocked home bars and wine tasting parties.  They also are more likely to be spotted enjoying a neatly filled sherry glass rather than a frothing Oktoberfest-sized stein.  Of course, the irony is that this appreciation of alcohol gained with age is inversely proportional to one's alcoholic tolerance... not to mention the hour one can comfortably stay up "appreciating" said alcohol.

The Art of Stretching

Studies have yet to determine at what age one begins to stretch with vocalization (i.e. yawning, expletives, passing gas), but once 30 approaches, stretching becomes an individual art form.  By the time the line of 30 is crossed, the classic S.S.S. routine (sh*t, shower, shave) is without controversy expanded to include a fourth 'S' for "stretching."

Triple Deckers will memorize their favorite stretching routines, as well as tricks involving door jams, tennis balls, or other inanimate objects that help get to the tightest and most hard to reach areas.  Stretching tips and secrets are freely exchanged between 30 year-olds, all in the name of getting a stiff vertebrae to 'pop' or a pesky hamstring to loosen.  Even non-athletic locations such as airports, movie theatres, offices, even cars, have become fair game for impromptu stretch-outs.  

In fact, to get the most out of all the time needed for extra stretching, many Triple Deckers will take up Yoga as it offers them s 3 for 1 exercise - stretching, working out, and managing the stress of leaving their 20s.  It should be noted however, that 30 year-olds are not advised to dabble in Tai Chi unless they want to be mistaken for much older.

The Absence of Shorts

It's a well known fact that as one ages, one's legs may become skinnier, hairier, veiny-er, and/or less aesthetically pleasing.  Given that fact, 30 still seems a young age to be hiding one's legs to the world... but, as 30 approaches, shorts are less likely to remain in the wardrobe.

While shorts may remain part of the post-30 ensemble for certain activities involving athletics, gardening, or moving around the privacy of one's own home, shorts worn in public have seemingly gone the way of the California Condor - not extinct, but severely endangered.  In fact, some people who have crossed the threshold of 30 are so serious about not wearing shorts, that they will do so even in short-appropriate situations.

The few pairs of shorts that do survive the big 3-0 are usually marked by their cargo pouches (to no doubt hold vitamins or other tools of age) and/or belt loops.  If one wears shorts with a belt and tucks in their shirt on top of that, they are most assuredly beyond 30... and are also probably someone's dad.

(The exception to this rule is if someone is already a parent before they turn 30. In that case they are fully entitled to wear shorts with a belt before becoming a Triple Decker... they've earned that right.)